Self-Care During BLM and COVID-19

On March 15, 2020, I returned home from Florida where I attended my cousin’s funeral, relieved that I was able to make it home. Watching the live coverage of the novel coronavirus over the weekend had me worried about air traffic being discontinued and the real possibility of being stuck in Miami. I was on pins and needles when I boarded my flight and could have kissed the ground when I landed in Detroit. I drove home from the airport and this was the last time I ventured out of the house until May 9, when my friend’s daughter had a drive by celebration to commemorate her graduation from medical school.

I put myself on lockdown before it became obligatory to go on lockdown. I remember being elated at the possibility of being home for a few weeks. I could enjoy a slower pace of life and the added tranquility of working from home after having traveled incessantly since December, prepared for and spoken at conferences and work-related seminars. I remember being exhausted but doing my best to silence the little voice in my head and the knot in the pit of my stomach that kept saying: slow down, girl!

And since, I would not, on my own volition, slow down, the Universe made me and the entire world stand still. At first, I exhaled a sigh of relief for finally having time to stay still and be. Ultimately, I started wondering about the reasons for this sudden turn of events and what we were supposed to learn from our current circumstances. I am a firm believer that nothing happens out of pure coincidence and there is a lesson to be garnered in each life’s major event.

Slowly, I started to understand that we, as a collective and as individuals, had to become quiet and devoid of all distractions to allow ourselves to feel the whole gamut of emotions at witnessing the public execution of another black man, another black woman, one more, and one more, and still one more. These endless and senseless public executions undeserving and unworthy of the human race.

Say their names: George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Rashard Brooks and so many others. And all of this happening within the context of a pandemic that would highlight the inherent inequities of a society in which a disproportionate number of fatalities is suffered in the black and brown communities. How painful and how unjust.

Dr King left us with the hope that we would make it to the promised land and that, although the arc of the moral universe is long, it bends toward justice. We have been clamoring for this justice for some time now. We are losing patience at the promise of a better future for what about the present? We want to believe his words to be prophecy that will come true for, we must continue to uphold the tradition of hope, faith and resilience prevalent in the Black community. We must ultimately rise and ask what can we do to overcome anxiety, despair, rage, anger and fear in these turbulent times?

I have been asked these questions numerous times by members of the younger generation. The following is an attempt at an answer. And while I am not able to dictate your actions and behavior, I can, nonetheless share with you what has worked for me. All along my journey, it has always been about the need to recharge and fill my cup and the need to focus on the needs of others.

And so, these days, to recharge and fill my cup:

• I am using my passion and creativity to bring to fruition something I always wanted to do, but constantly reported to a vague and uncommitted “one day” …. “One day”, I will have a blog and use it to inspire and lead. “One day”, I will pour my passion into a creative project that will be my own baby. With the crisis, “One Day”, became the present moment.  And so was born My Voice My Journey. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy creating its content. For me, creating joy and inner peace comes through creating a blog site; for you, it may be drawing, cooking, baking, painting, sewing, making candles. The list is endless.
• I resumed my meditation practice that I had neglected to the point where I was ready to delete my favorite meditation App. I resumed with a ten minutes meditation followed by a five-minute personal affirmation. This has brought back serenity and calmness to my days. For me it is meditation, for you it might be yoga, or Pilates, or a gratitude journal.
• Intentional Personal Growth; a friend shared on a group chat the most popular free online class offered by Yale University, called The Science of Well-Being. I decided to enroll and I am now steering my life in a new direction…. Taking a class might result in consequential and meaningful decisions for me. You, on the other hand, may decide to catch up on your readings or visit museums online as most world-renowned museums opened their exhibits to free online viewing during the pandemic.
• I instituted weekly calls with my children every Sunday. We are sharing our challenges and accomplishments for the week and recommitting to being a close family. Priceless.
• I instituted bi-weekly calls with some of my best girls where we toast each other, catch up on politics, organize fundraisers and talk about what is happening in the D. Food for my soul
• Started a vegetable garden, quite an experiment for those of you who know me, know that it took me a long time to figure out which of my ten fingers were the green ones. I am still searching, but I am quite hopeful to eat my own grown tomatoes at the end of the summer.
• Attempts at daily walks. I am still challenged by that one activity, but I hope to make progress soon. I recruited a friend and starting next week, we plan on going on bike rides along the Detroit River or on Belle Isle. I can use the exercise.

I find myself busier, but in a good way. I find myself being more content than I have ever been. I am conscious of the times we live in, but I make it a practice to keep fear and anxiety at bay, for I am well aware that we attract what we most fear. We must remain joyful and live with purpose and attract more of the same.  Wishing you peace and joy!