Grace & Fire

My friend Liz used the words Grace and Fire to describe me the other evening. I was intrigued: first time I had heard these two words strung together to define me.

Liz and I have known each other for over 30 years. We both got married and had children around the same time. We share a profession and have managed to thrive in a male dominated industry with all its inherent challenges and rewards. We have experienced separation from life time partners and have been molded by the triumphs, failures, and hard lessons life teaches us.

Liz is still going through her dark night of the soul and I am emerging from mine. I am emerging full of life, joy and optimism for having survived the harshest and lowest moments of my journey. Liz has a hard time grasping that with a willingness to be flexible and remain pliant to the forces that shape us and given time, she, too, will experience this triumph of optimism over life challenges. For that reason, I strongly believe, God reunited us.

As I was sharing and complimenting Liz on the steps she was taking to reconstruct her life, she stopped me and uttered “you are Grace and Fire”. This gave me pause.

She went on to explain her choice of words and how she sees grace manifesting. It is in how we interact with others, demonstrating kindness, empathy, love and compassion. It is in the Joy we radiate when we have brought joy to another human for treating them with the respect, dignity and warmth that they deserve. It is how we provide others an exit door when we witness them cornered with their back against the wall, allowing them to safeguard their pride and dignity. It is when making eye contact and offering a smile that reaches our eyes when thanking the cashier at the store. It is when we humanize the custodian as we remember his children’s names and inquire about his ailing mother. It is in working as hard as our staff and showing gratitude for their contribution to our success. It is in the humble understanding that our children are our teachers. And the fire is the fuel that keeps us going when the going gets tough and we refuse to give in for we know there is much work to be done and we were designed to do our part of the work like no one else.

These are just a few of the numerous ways in which we manifest grace. Ultimately, this manifested grace, through the fire of our will and divine strength, transcends our reality and transmutes our deeper selves until it becomes a word that is used to describe who we are. Liz is gracious in her kindness and tribute; and she is able to recognize the grace and fire in me because she possesses them.

Liz is still in pain and for that reason, is not yet able to see and fully manifest the grace and fire she possesses. I know, for having traveled that route and for observing the courageous efforts she makes to be of service to others, that she, too, will experience this transmutation and become grace and fire. There will be challenges along the way and there will be moments of doubt and despair, but as sure as the sun rises in the morning, she will rise again, be stronger for it and inspire others.

Merging soul, body and mind, thus, creating who we are meant to be takes time. It takes life lessons to align us to our true nature and guide us towards our purpose. It is a road all of us must travel, but when we do the work, the rewards are priceless. Liz is now doing the work, and it is a matter of time before I see the smile reach her eyes and witness her transmutation. She has the fire in her to manifest grace and she is no lesser than that.